MY MOTHER’S FOLLY

©Mallari 2017
written by Rolando Q. Mallari, MD

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. The characters, the story line, the location are all culled from the imagination. Any similarity to real life and place are purely coincidental.

He had just turned 21.  Romer was on his last year in college. He was finishing a pre-medical course in the summer capital en-route to a medical course. He woke up in a chilly morning and he tried flexing his muscles and did some stretching exercises. Before he was able to decide if he will take a lap around the convention center, his cellphone rang. He looked at his phone and determined who was calling. It was his mother Jillian. His mother greeted him a happy birthday and said that if he can come home for the weekend, it would be a great pleasure for her. 

His mother is already in her early 50’s. She is a woman who had been challenged by the times. His mother stood tall with those challenges. She was once a beauty queen but since saddled with financial misfortunes, her face had now shown the early ravages of time. Five years ago, she was diagnosed to have uterine cancer. She underwent removal of her uterus and ovaries. This was followed by radiation and chemotherapy. Despite these conditions, she maintained her jolly countenance. She always had a ready smile for everyone. His mother was everything to him. He has not known his father. Although, according to his mother he would regularly visit them for the first two years of his life. Then, his mother decided to severe her ties with his father. Since then, he had never discussed the man with his mother. 

He usually comes home for the weekend since the summer capital is just an hour away from his home. But because of his travel sickness he would alternately go home every week. This is the first time his mother requested him to go home that weekend. Is there something important his mother is going to tell him? 

After his last class that Friday, he decided to take the 5PM bus going home. He knew that it would be dark already when he arrives in the capital town but he would be able to catch the 7PM last trip to their municipality. He would be around home by 8PM. Upon arrival, he noticed that there were many lights on in the house He saw the car of his relatives parked infront of the house. He felt a sudden chill and chest-pounding feeling that made him dart towards their house. He saw his mother in bed and attended to by his aunts and cousins. He was told his mother just collapsed while sewing dresses. 

He looked at his mother. She was quiet. She was resting on the old antique bed, calm with a queenly demeanor. Despite her malady, his mother commands strength and toughness. He ran towards her, sat beside the bed and held hands gently and placing them in his cheeks. He felt the thin hands with markedly enlarged veins. Tears slowly flowed from his lacrimal ducts. He began to sob until those soft sobs began to fill the room. His mother’s hands moved. She tapped the hands that were holding them. She opened her eyes and looked at the other people in the room. She gestured to them that they be left alone. 

Once they were by themselves, he can’t control the tears that were flowing. His mother rose up and sat in the bed and calmed him. He held her face and her hands. The skin creases were getting more. His mother is slowly being ravaged by the cancer cells. The uterine cancer is taking its toll. He knew the end is coming. 

His mother took an envelope under her pillow and gave it to him. He opened it and saw pictures of a man that closely resembled him. He looked at his mother and she nodded as if to acknowledge a silent question. Then his mother told him a story that he had wanted to hear but only revealed today. 

His mother died. Grief swallowed him. He gagged. He choked. He bunged up. That was all he needed to. But he never felt he was alone. His mother taught him resilience and strength beyond a storm. He can weather this. After his mother was buried, he was surprised to know that his mother left him a fortune enough for him to finish his dream of becoming a doctor. His mother’s siblings were very supportive of him. His aunt and cousins were very much willing to take him in at their homes but he decided to stay at home. 

The semester is almost over and he is consumed in his school requirements. He had to finish all of them in a dizzying pace. He had no time to grieve. All his efforts were fruitful as he will graduate with honors and is on top of the class. He wanted to sulk but he knows his mother would not want that attitude from him. His mother has always shown him that there is always a silver lining in the dark clouds above. He finally made the decision. 

Despite the summer, there was still a chill that tickles the spine on that day. He took the early morning trip at the Victory Liner that day. It was a full trip and surprisingly a one-stop trip at Sison, Pangasinan then direct trip to Manila via TPLEX-SCTEX-NLEX. It was a surprise that special trips like these are now available. He decided to check-in at a 3-star hotel at heart of Cubao in Quezon City and took a rest and dozed off to sleep. He woke up and panicked. It was already 7PM. He peeped through the window room of the hotel. Darkness had set in. The lights in the commercial district came to life and people from all walks of life populated the streets. There was a cacophony of sound emanating from everywhere. He realized time is running, he went to the bathroom and took a bath. Drenched wet, he looked at himself in the mirror and the tension in him showed. He huffed and huffed and huffed. It was one way of releasing the tension built in him. The steam from the warm shower created a water film in the mirror.  It became much thicker when he huffed and huffed. He cleaned the water film while drying himself using the white towel from the hotel. He took a tight-fitting black shirt from his bag. He paired it with a walking short. His mind was wondering whether he was just going to watch or be a part of what is going to happen. He heaved a sigh. Then he said the words “let it be!” He then put on his sandals and walked out of his room. He took the elevator and surrendered his keys at the front desk. 

At the hotel lobby, he opened his Waze apps and typed the road and building he was going to. It flashed and said it is an 8-minute walk from the hotel he was in. He walked out of the hotel and followed through the directions and in a short distance a tall building was in front of him. He asked the building guard where the Germanic Entertainment Agency was located although in the card he was holding, it rightly said so. The building guard politely answered it was at the theater room, Level 10. He took the elevator and he was surprised that Level 10 is an amphitheater. An ongoing training for would be beauty queens was being held. There was a man apparently the trainer/director making the orders. He was tall but fat with a big belly to boot. He commanded respect from the participants. He would sway his hands and scream at the top of voice when he was trying to impress on something. He felt he wasn’t ready yet. He started to move backwards when a young gay man asked him. 

“Sir, are you looking for somebody?” He nodded and he said, “I am looking for a certain Mr. Redentor Ibanez!” 

Oh, it’s Mama Reden!, the young gay man answered. 

He already grasped the sexuality of the person he was looking. The young gay man smiled at him mischievously and pulled him inside. 

“Mama Reden, someone is looking for you. A new discovery!” the young gay was referring to him.

The theater director was not to be disturbed and shouted at the top of his voice. 

“I don’t want to be disturbed! Tell him to come back.......”

While talking Reden was slowly turning around towards the young gay man  and him. He was on the act of opening his mouth to give them a good tongue-lashing but instead he was petrified. He was statue-like. Then he trembled. He slowly sat down put his two hands in front of his face. He began to sob. He began to whisper, “Oh My God, she’s gone. she’s gone. She’s gone.”

Then Romer said to him, “So it’s real!”

Reden stood up and faced him. No one moved. Then Romer said, 

Are you not going to embrace me? Are you not going to welcome me?, he asked him while his eyes started becoming cloudy. 

Are you going to allow me?, Reden asked.

Romer nodded. And then Reden embraced him so tightly. He was muttering the words, “Seventeen years! Seventeen years!” He was kissing him all over his face. He was crying and laughing at the same time. The people in the theater were so surprised as they do not understand what was happening. Mr. Ibanez declared a break in the training and assigned his assistant director to continue thereafter. He took Romer’s hands and walked towards the door. They took the elevator and went to the topmost portion of the building where a restaurant was located. At the restaurant you can see the city skyline from all views.  They settled and ordered their food. In between eating their meals, Romer learned about himself. 

Reden and Jillian were best of friends. But as days go by, Jillian’s  obsession with Reden is getting heightened. Jillian knows that Reden is gay. So she hatched a plan so that she could have a child by Reden. Jillian underwent artificial insemination using Reden’s sperms. When Jillian got pregnant, she went home to the province. When her parents asked her who is the father of her child, she would answer, “Even if I would tell you, she can’t marry me anyway!” Jillian’s parents never asked her anymore about the father of the kid. 

When Jillian asked Reden to meet him at the bus station a year after, Reden saw Romer for the first time. Reden was confronted about his gayness and being there for Jillian. The questions that cobfronted Reden was that would he be able to act straight throughout all his life? But Jillian never forced him to make a choice. Until on the second year of frequent visits, Jillian wrote a letter to Reden that she will stop seeing him but will send yearly pictures of Romer to him so that he will know his son. If his son will come to him and present himself, she would not be around by that time. 

Your mother wants you so much. Not that I don’t want you! I have fears of my acceptance as your father, Reden told Romer. 

Romer looked at his father intently and tears flowing in his eyes, he told Reden: 

Mom brought me up without prejudice. Let me just ask you to be a Father to me. You may find yourself wanting but please be there. I want to prove to everyone that you and I are not just mother’s folly - something we deserve better of whom we are now. 

Reden looked at Romer.  No words can express his gratitude for having a fully-grown, intelligent and accepting son like Romer. And he embraced the son he never had for 17 years.  Romer returned the tight embrace. He whispered, “let us go home, Papa.”